In a discussion of the history of vacations, host, Robert Siegel of NPR interviewed author Cindy Aron, author of  Working at Play: A History of Vacations in the United States.

Siegel said, “Until the middle of the 19th century, Americans used the word vacation the way the English do, the time when teachers and students vacate the school premises and go off on their own. In those days, a vacation was also a mark of privilege. Over time, the vacation became a middle class institution, as well as a time for physical, mental and spiritual self-improvement, not to mention sheer entertainment.”

Perhaps because a vacation was a respite from ordinary, regular activity vacation came to be associated with health, renewal, and other positive states that supported wellbeing for individuals.  Even the etymology of the word carries a positive valence.  Deriving from the Latin vacatio the word means freedom, exemption, immunity from service, and privilege.

No wonder we all long for a vacation, and especially after a hard won project or career—a LOOOONG vacation!

Pauses for respite and renewal are periods we all need.  Many hard workers look to “retirement” as the long deserved and permanent vacation they earned.  Most folks prepare for this event well before it happens:  they join a golf club, or buy a boat, or add a huge flat screen TV to the family room, and almost everyone sets aside enough financial resources to assure a standard of living.

Unfortunately prolonged leisure is not one of the key factors associated with longevity. Staying active is a key factor.  Dr. Michael Craig Miller, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the Harvard Medical School assures you that the trick is to find a balance of activities that draw you in and stretch you out. He says, “We grow and keep our brains alive by being engaged with things that challenge us.”

A certain amount of stress is good for you.  After years of teaching yoga, meditation, and ways to reduce stress, psychologist, author, and well-known Stanford University teacher Kelly McGonigal has revised her ideas about stress in her book (which I highly recommend).

Note the subtitle:  WHY STRESS IS GOOD FOR YOU and HOW TO GET GOOD AT IT!

Situations that provide the right kind of stress are what you need to construct when you’re thinking about retiring or devising the next wonderful chapter in your life.  Dr. Miller describes what to look for perfectly.  He says, “The sweet spot is the stuff that’s just outside your reach, where you have to work and concentrate.”

So give yourself well earned pauses, but make sure that over longer periods of time, if you want to increase your wellbeing and longevity, you find that sweet spot where challenge is just enough to keep you on your growing edge.

Life Reinspired offers guidance and support for life transitions. Come participate with us in our workshops and programs to support and help guide you on this journey.

Katherine Olivetti is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter of life. She is a practicing Jungian psychoanalyst, family therapist, coach, writer, and editor, training professionals throughout the world.

In last week’s blog post, Michael McNeill wrote about the Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain workshop we took together—and how it helped us discover a new way of looking at the world. I’ve had a few more musings since, as follows: The left hemisphere of the human brain is charged with risk assessment, due diligence, symbolic and logical processes, and a strong task focus. We’d never get anything done without it. The left hemisphere is also the seat of judgment, including “I can’t” and various kinds of mental self-flagellation. The right hemisphere perceives things as they are—pre-codifying–and sees everything as possible. We couldn’t create or love without it. The right brain is a fabulous hang-out, though spend too much time here and the fog may roll in. We’re always using both hemispheres, of course; the trick is to integrate and balance the two for optional functioning.

Here’s how this relates to the Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain class. Everyone in the class was a rank beginner at drawing. The younger participants frequently went into paroxysms of  “This is terrible. I am terrible. I am paralyzed by my terribleness,” etc. There was lots of emotional energy expended in left brain self-assaults. After lunch and a walk, however, the younger participants returned to the room, focused on what they were doing, and produced remarkably cool pictures. Go figger!

Caroline before

Michael and I were the oldsters in the class. I knew I had never exhibited a whit of talent in the domain of drawing, but I didn’t actually care. I’m accomplished at other things, so it felt really cool to play around with something I’m not already good at. Michael was pretty much the same. We listened to the lectures, tried to apply the tools, and consistently surprised ourselves with the quality of our output. To tell you the truth, I was thrilled. I had no idea I could draw like that—or that drawing is not a function of magic or talent, but rather letting the right hemisphere rip on seeing shapes, shading, and relationships while keeping the left brain busy measuring angles and proportions.

And now Michael and I are wandering around our world seeing shapes and shadows and relationships everywhere…which is slightly psychedelic, I gotta say.

Like our young colleagues, we surprised ourselves with the quality of our drawings. Of course we spent time along the way thinking “How the hell am I going to do this?” But we didn’t let the emotional charge of judgment hijack the learning process. Because self-judgment is not fun. And if something’s not fun, why would you do it?

As a child, production values were a big consideration in my family—e.g., if you don’t do something well, don’t do it in

Caroline’s After Picture

public! When I was 40, inspired by Michelle Pfeiffer singing “Making Whoopie” on the piano in The Fabulous Baker Boys, I decided to take singing lessons just because I like to sing, even though talent in this area had never surfaced before. My new standard became: If you don’t do something well (but it interests you), do it as much as possible and you will improve—maybe not all the way to “good,” but certainly to “better.” Thanks to that relaxed standard, my next few decades were suffused with the joy of singing with gospel choirs backed by excellent horn sections. (Alas, though, no sitting on a piano in red sequins—not yet, anyway.)

And those standards are even lower now. When you’ve been successful and possess mastery in one or more bodies of knowledge, you have nothing left to prove. So why not sign up to learn about something that’s always intrigued you? Our brains benefit from taking on something challenging enough that we’re likely to fail at in the process of improving. Building confidence and self-esteem is not the point–we Baby Boomers already did that. Rather, the point is deleting “I can’t” from our vocabularies and trying something new. You might be thrilled with your newfound skill. You might tank big time. But really, who cares?

Maturity has its advantages.

Caroline MacNeill Hall is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter of life. She is President of MAC Advisors, an executive coaching and leadership development company. She’s also senior faculty for the Coaches Training Institute.

One of the biggest obstacles to change of any kind is fear.  Any transition, especially one as big as letting go of a long time career for what we traditionally call retirement, can ignite a lot of fear.  When fear gets the best of us at this stage of life it can manifest in many different ways including but not limited to holding on to the career job long after it’s time to let go, not taking any action toward change, confusion, indulging in food and drink, and self isolation.  Courage – a strong heart and thoughtful action – are needed when fear takes hold.  Remember courage is about taking action in spite of the presence of fear.  So here are six tips for breaking through to clarity and action:

Call a friend or colleague – have a good conversation with a trusted significant other, friend or colleague where you name your fear and get it out in the open which will reduce it’s grip on you.

Ask for help – this is a leadership skill that many of us forget or are too embarrassed to use.  Our school and work cultures have trained us to think we have to know everything when in reality we don’t.  Reach out to a professional for help.

Affirmations – craft one or more affirmations that work for you and post them where you can see and say them every day.  An example is: “Every day I am taking action to manifest a fulfilling next chapter in my life”.

Take an action – Taking even one action that leads you forward can be the spear head that breaks open the momentum for more.  For example: take a colleague to lunch, call the non-profit you’ve been interested in and ask about their volunteer program, do some online research on an idea you have.

Get in Motion – Go for a walk, get to the gym, spend a morning at the beach, or ride your bike.  Physical activity fires endorphins in the body which create positivity, which can open new perspectives and ideas, and make us feel better and more motivated overall.

Create a Support Structure – The Survivor shows on TV may make good entertainment but they are counter to how people survive in the real world.  Behind any successful person is a support team/structure that helped them to be who they are.  No one has done it alone.  Who is part of your support – family, friends, colleagues, professionals?  Reach out to them and get them actively involved in supporting your transition.

So choose one of the suggested tips above or move on one of your own.  It will start forward movement, loosen fear’s grip and you’ll feel better overall.  If you are looking for a support structure to make the move to your next chapter in life, here at Life Reinspired we specialize in guiding you through the planning process and providing a cohort of like-minded individuals for the journey.

Come turn up the heat with us at LIFE REINSPIRED. Contact us for more information or find out more about our programs and upcoming workshops.

Sabrina Roblin is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter in life. Sabrina is an experienced executive, mentor, trainer, and coach. She has worked for organizations that include Wells Fargo Bank, Broderbund Software, and The Coaches Training Institute. And she is a singer/songwriter. Her website.

In life we make our plans, we map our course, and we never know what’s around the bend.  Unexpected losses, a new friend or lover, a new job opportunity, a set back….it’s all part of the journey.  The transition from a long-time career to “retirement” can be especially challenging.  As the structure our career provided, the relationships, and who we knew ourselves to be falls away, we enter uncharted territory.  After years of being experts in what we used to do, we are called to new challenges, learning, and relationships.  This can be overwhelming and terrifying at times as it affects the structure of our daily lives, how we see ourselves, how others see us, and how we navigate in the world.

If we can embrace the adventure at the heart of the experience, it can change everything.

There are at least two important factors in embarking on any adventure – our attitude toward it and our plan.  When we take time to set a destination, plan the itinerary, invite a friend or group to share the experience, set aside a budget and more, we set the ground for a successful and enjoyable journey.  Holding the attitude of adventure opens us to receive the gifts, blessings, learning and surprises along the way.

Here are some questions to reflect on as you prepare for the adventure:

• Who will be your support team (friends, family, colleagues)?
• How do you need to redesign your closest relationships now that your life is changing?
• Who do you want to spend more time with?
• What are the not-to-be missed experiences you want to have in this life?
• How will you connect your talents, skills and experience to a meaningful purpose?
• What are the personal strengths and character traits that will best serve you on the journey?
• Do you have a spiritual path? What part do you want that to play in your journey?
• What is the legacy you want to leave to your family, organization and community?
• Are your finances in shape to support your vision and plan for your life going forward?
• What do you want a typical day, week, month to look like and feel like?
• If you were to read your obituary, what would you want it to say about who you were as a person, the impact you made, and the legacy you left to those who have survived you?

Some of these can be tough questions.  Spending time answering them can make all the difference in the quality of this important next chapter of your life.  Everyone’s journey is different.  I went through the transition myself, and it was lonely and terrifying at times as I navigated all the changes and charted a new course. As a result of my experience, when the opportunity to co-found Life Reinspired presented itself, I took it.  I knew that if I’d had the kind of structure and support that our program offers, the journey would have been smoother and more enjoyable, so I want to offer that opportunity to others, along with the wisdom I gained along the way.

Embrace the adventure that awaits! It will be fulfilling, scary, inspiring, surprising and wonderful.

Life Reinspired is a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter of life. Contact us for more information or find out more about our programs and upcoming retreats.

Sabrina Roblin is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter in life. Sabrina is an experienced executive, mentor, trainer, and coach. She has worked for organizations that include Wells Fargo Bank, Broderbund Software, and The Coaches Training Institute.

Humans are habitual creatures organized by the familiar. It’s amazing how many things we do with out thinking. I hit the first step on the stairs with my right foot. I brush my teeth top left down. I button my shirts bottom up. I stir my coffee right handed and clockwise. Do these small things matter? You bet they do. I do everything “the right way.”

Try this:

Clasp your hands in the way that is most familiar to you. Then shift the fingers. What do you feel? Most likely you will experience this slight shift as feeling “wrong.”

The point is that our brains get wired to register the familiar as “right” and the unfamiliar as “wrong.” Real growth can occur when we make room for new experiences and loosen the hold that the familiar has on us.

If you are interested in opening your life to new possibilities you can loosen the hold that the familiar has on you. In daily, simple tasks, you can opt for doing things in an unfamiliar way. Here are some suggestions:

• Do any routine task with your non-dominant hand.
• Reverse processes, like buttoning and unbuttoning a shirt, putting on socks, saying grace after the meal.
• Take a new route when driving to a familiar destination.
• Eat a food you never ate before.
• Change your usual seat at dinner.
• Go to an unfamiliar neighborhood and take a walk.
• Do something you’ve never done before—iron a dish towel, saw a piece of wood, sew on a button, plant a flower, dance by yourself in the kitchen before dinner, pay for the person standing behind you in Starbucks

The possibilities are endless. Keep thinking of the small in-your-life things you can do differently and give them a try. The loosening of the familiar makes space for new experience and learning.

You will recognize these lines:

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost
“The Road Not Taken”

Come take the less traveled road with us at LIFE REINSPIRED. Contact us for more information or find out more about our programs and upcoming retreats.

Katherin Olivetti is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter of life. She is a practicing Jungian psychoanalyst, family therapist, coach, writer, and editor, training professionals throughout the world.

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.”

– Shunryu Suzuki

At the point of retirement you might wonder why you need a beginner’s mind. Shoshin, a concept that originates in Zen Buddhism meaning beginner’s mind, invites an attitude of openness, an emptying of expectations about outcome, curiosity, and a naïve and eager expectancy. In another system, the Tarot, the attitude is characterized by the Fool, the first card of the deck, where every journey begins.

His eyes are focused on heaven and even in the face of imminent hazards his attitude is one of optimism. The fool or beginner’s mind captures an attitude that helps a person to get out of the familiar mindset because as Einstein so wisely noted, the mind set that created a problem is not the mind set that can solve the problem.

At the point of retirement, the “problem” is often success! Now that’s a strange idea, isn’t it? The very strategies that helped you get to the top of the mountain you climbed, even though they are valuable and stellar, may not be the right ones to help you with the next challenge, maybe a sea journey to a place you’ve never been.

Often the skills that are acquired in the course of a successful career include drive, ambition, taking charge or control, pro-activity, hard work, goal setting—often in Eastern language yang oriented activity. At a transformational point in life, there is often a call for a new orientation. This is why points of transition are often painful—because they call us to navigate with skills we don’t have yet. The irony is that in the process of getting to the next point, we develop those very skills. If you have children, think of all the things that developed as you became a parent….or like in playing tennis, you learn as you go. That is the way of transformation and growth.

Successful people are often like fabulous wagons with 3 perfect wheels and one sort of not-so-great one. With the 3 wheels whizzing along, you zoom successfully; there is no reason to notice something is under-developed. But at midlife that undeveloped part of the self begins to pinch from inside. Familiar, skill rich activities can become stale or no longer possible, something else is nudging from inside. This is the point at which we need to cultivate the beginner’s mind.

All that striving, driving, goaling and yang energy may need to step aside in favor of what Eastern philosophy calls yin—the receptive, receiving, open stillness that can listen deeply. Learning to turn the ear from listening to the outside to listening to the wee voice within can be challenging. There are activities that help cultivate that inner listening: journaling, meditation, solitude, quiet, time spent in nature, therapy, and spiritual practices. Often a guide who knows about those practices can help.

Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter of life. Find out more about our programs and upcoming retreats..

Contact Us for more information.

Katherine Olivetti is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter of life. She is a practicing Jungian psychoanalyst, family therapist, coach, writer, and editor, training professionals throughout the world.

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Dare to Risk the Dream

Last Spring I was called to follow a dream of being on The Voice, and I answered that call.
After six months of preparation, I auditioned for the television reality show last week in Nashville, TN. This was a courageous act, as not only is this an intimidating leap for any singer, it’s also a youthful show and I’m in the second half of life.

I’ve been preparing for the last six months, and I watched this last season of the show carefully as I dreamed of being on it and of being coached by Alicia Keyes or one of the other celebrity coaches on the show. I knew this was an important goal for me. What I didn’t know, was that it would launch me into a transformational healing journey that was never about being on that stage. When I started the journey, I thought it was. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago when I confronted the toughest of my internal demons that I began to realize this journey was about something much bigger than whether I got picked or not. Did I get chosen after my audition? No. Am I a winner? Yes! In more ways than I can count.

After I completed my audition and walked out of that room I felt like jumping for joy. I got in my bones why I’ve been told so many times it’s about the journey, not the destination. Over the last six months, I was confronted by and slayed several big internal demons, I grew my vocal and performance skills, I finished recording my first CD, and I marveled at the support I received from friends and family for pursuing this dream. I stood in that audition room last week and sang my heart out for myself, for having slayed those internal demons that challenged me to my core, and for all those people who were standing behind me with their love and support.

Was the journey easy? No. And that’s a longer story for another time. What I will say here is dare to risk the dream. I’m here to tell you, it’s worth it! Every minute of it. If you show up for it and stay present to the learning and the blessings you will be a different person on the other side with more self-love, self-trust and self-respect.

Going for your dreams makes you feel alive, engaged and youthful. Don’t let your comfort zone keep you from pursuing what you love no matter what your age. There are treasures waiting to be claimed along the way.

Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter of life. Find out more about our programs and upcoming retreats.

Contact Us for more information.

Sabrina is a Co-Founder of Life Reinspired. As a retired senior executive, she has direct experience in the transition process to the next phase of life with all of its challenges and gifts. 

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