I learned many years later that after coming home from a Christmas Eve party with friends, my parents had forgotten to stuff the stockings before retiring for the night.  When my mother sent me back downstairs to check again, she jumped out of bed, threw all the stocking stuffers out on the roof and returned to bed so I wouldn’t know what she’d done.  Forgetting turned out to be the best mistake they could have made.  Finding the stuffers on the roof enhanced and made real the mystery, wonder and delight of Christmas for me in a way I remember in detail to this day.

Whatever your holiday traditions and beliefs are, it is a time to embrace the wonder and mystery of the unseen, and to bring light to the dark places within and without, through decorations, kind words, and the sharing of good food and laughter.  It can be a blue time for many who are especially in need of a hug, a kind word, or the offer of a meal.  If you are alone and blue this holiday season, reach out for support.

Be on the lookout for wonder this season and create moments of wonder for others.  It brings out the best in us, lifts our spirits and warms our hearts.

Blessings to all and thank you for the gift of your trust and referrals throughout the year!

Sabrina Roblin, CPCC, a former executive and co-founder of Life Reinspired, is happily enjoying her best chapter of life. She now helps others do the same. Schedule a free Life Reinspired Strategy Session or email info@lifereinspired.com to learn more.

Example assumptions and expectations include:

• Now that we have a grandchild, you will want to have them at home during the week for a few hours each day just like I will because you love them as much as I do.
• Now that I’m retired and home all the time, you’ll want to spend every day with me because I want to spend every day with you. If you don’t, I’ll feel hurt and rejected.
• When I get home, you’ll want to hear about everything I did during my day and be totally present and interested in what I have to say. If you’re not, it means you don’t care about me.
• Because you’re my best friend you’ll want to talk with me on the phone once a week for at least an hour. Because I want that, you’ll want that too and be available for it.

These are just a few that can trip us up.  The judgement, disappointment, resentment, and anger they can engender become blocks to love and connection.

Conversation that is open and curious to name and explore them is so important, especially for a couple going through a major life change – retirement from a career, an illness, a change in finances or home, or the birth of a grandchild.  It is an opportunity to create understanding and design how you want to live individually and together in the relationship.

Relationships are essential to our well-being and are the most important of the five pillars to a fulfilling life.  We dream of growing old with our mates and dear friends.  By the time we’ve reached the second half of life, we don’t need research to tell us that they are the source of both our greatest pleasures and deepest pains.  Navigating them well makes a huge difference in the level of fulfillment and satisfaction we experience in our lives.

Set aside undisturbed time to sit down as a couple or with a best friend.  Be as curious about exploring the assumptions and expectations as you would a different country and culture with its customs and beliefs.  Then create some agreements about how you’ll find common ground and honor each other.  It will reinvigorate your relationship and create the space for more love, joy, understanding and fun.

Sabrina Roblin, CPCC, a former executive and co-founder of Life Reinspired, is happily enjoying her best chapter of life. She now helps others do the same. Schedule a free Life Reinspired Strategy Session or email info@lifereinspired.com to learn more.

Leaving my career was a tougher transition for me than I expected. I thought the freedom and time to play would bring me joy. I didn’t realize that the loss of purpose, structure, colleagues, and my executive role would throw me for a loop. It’s what inspired me to develop the Life Reinspired work of coaching people to their next best chapter. I’ve found that asking the right kind of questions can make all the difference in how the next chapter unfolds.

If you are either in or facing a major life transition, here are some questions to ask yourself:

• What am I learning about myself? Who am I becoming?
• What’s important to me/gives meaning to my life?
• How do I want to contribute to others in my next phase of life?
• What and who will support me through this transition?

Exploring the answers to these questions and others will help you find your true North and create your next best chapter of life in a way that is aligned with who you truly are.

Be kind to yourself.  Transitions can be both scary and times of meaningful growth and discovery.  Embrace the adventure and remember, you don’t have to do it alone.  Coaching can help shepherd the process.

Sabrina Roblin, CPCC, a former executive and founder of Life Reinspired, is happily enjoying her best chapter of life. She now helps others do the same. Schedule a free Life Reinspired Strategy Session or email info@lifereinspired.com.

Whether you’re grieving the loss of your career due to the pandemic or you want to take the reins and start a new chapter in your life, you might be thinking you need to wait until life returns to normal before you can begin to even think about what’s next. Surprisingly, the opposite is true.

Now is actually an ideal time to start!

Disruption, challenges and change inspire creativity, purpose and new beginnings. If you do the groundwork now, as life and the economy reopen, you’ll be ready to blossom into your next chapter and make it your best yet. The freedoms, activities, work and connections to loved ones that you may have recently lost will help you clarify what is most important in your life and help to point you in the direction of your next chapter. By the way, this is not to minimize the need for grieving the losses you experience. It’s important to make the space to embrace the emotions of grief and to reach out for help when needed.

I started my next chapter at 50+ the hard way, and you don’t have to. When I left my long-time successful corporate career, I was executive of an international training company in the San Francisco Bay Area.  My love of outdoor adventure inspired a move to the mountains of Sun Valley, Idaho. I was looking forward to the play and freedom, thinking they were going to fill my life with new meaning.  I quickly found myself grieving the purpose, people, challenge and structure of my corporate life and realized that just play and freedom were not going to cut it.  It took me two years of struggling and research to figure out what it would take to create a meaningful and fulfilling life chapter, and another year of work to make it real.

If only I knew then, what I know now, I could have prepared well before I launched and not had to suffer through a multi-year transition.

Now I know it takes reflection, intention, planning and action to clarify and build these five essential life pillars to create a life that is wildly fulfilling:

People – Who are the loved ones, friends, and colleagues you want by your side for the journey forward?

Purpose – What is a form of work that is important and meaningful to you that utilizes the talents, skills and experience you most enjoy in service of something you care about?

Pleasure – This is where your bucket list fits in. What are the day-to-day activities you enjoy most? What are the getaways you want to plan and look forward to in the years ahead?

Place – What type of home do you want in your next chapter? Do you want a garden? Do you want to downsize or change geographies?

Prosperity –This is both a material and a spiritual topic, especially in the second half of life. In addition to managing your finances, what are the practices you enjoy that support your health and wellbeing? What are the spiritual beliefs and practices that are meaningful to you?

How to begin? Set aside reflection time to start the process and keep a journal of your thoughts and ideas. Reflect and recapture dreams you haven’t had the time to realize in the past and begin to build the bridge to what’s next.

Download a free workbook for this process at:  The 5 Essential Pillars to Your Next Chapter.

The process of exploring, clarifying and taking action steps in these five pillars of your life take time, intention and attention. Dive in with a perspective of discovery and adventure.  Allow the process to create a sense of joy and purpose in your life. The vision of your next chapter will start to take shape and you’ll be inspired to take action to make it real.

Sabrina Roblin, CPCC is a retired executive, founder of Life Reinspired, is happily enjoying her best chapter of life.  She now helps others do the same. To learn more contact Sabrina at: info@lifereinspired.com at www.lifereinspired.com.

There are several components or keys to a meaningful and fulfilling life.  Did you know that research shows important and meaningful relationships are more important to longevity and well-being than quitting smoking? The importance of people in your life is just one of these keys of the program.  The pandemic has disconnected us in ways we’ve never experienced before.  I’m certainly feeling it.

Living alone during this time, I’m especially grateful to my two kitties, Iris and Ivy.  They provide entertainment, good snuggles, warmth and companionship.  Also, I make it a practice to reach out to friends and family by phone or video conference on a regular basis for connection and a conversation.  I’m fortunate enough to live in the mountains where I can get out for a hike with a friend.  I can’t hug them, but I can enjoy our time together in the beauty of the outdoors, so I make it a point to get out with a friend at least once a week.  That way I break the isolation of the pandemic, and I have a greater sense of well-being afterwards.

I find that the little things like my neighbor bringing in my garbage can from the end of the driveway after the garbage truck has been by makes a huge difference to my day and my feeling of being connected in the community. It’s a simple kindness that is a beacon of light amidst the chaos of our times.  We are tribal creatures, so staying connected is critical.

“The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members.”

– Coretta Scott King

Upcoming Workshop:

Sabrina Roblin, CPCC is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, offering coaching and training programs for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter in life. Sabrina is an experienced executive, mentor, trainer, and coach. She has worked for organizations that include Wells Fargo Bank, Broderbund Software, and The Coaches Training Institute. Schedule a conversation!

I’m 67. My husband Michael has been retired for five years. I sincerely want to be moving (er….inching) toward my next chapter of life, too. In fact, a significant portion of my business is devoted to helping people navigate that transition. And yet, my old habit of behavior and beliefs die hard—and I suspect I’m not alone.

Habitual behaviors? Here are a few (of mine):

• Saying “yes” to most new work opportunities that interest me. (This may sound like a good thing, but trust me, it isn’t given that so much interests me.)
• Not doing what it takes to find a skilled assistant to take all administrivia off my plate (since I get worse and worse at it and it sucks the joy from life).
• Not protecting unscheduled time for reflection and adventure.

Habitual attitudes? Here are a few (of mine):

• I’m only smart when I’m working (so I’d better work as much as possible).
• Working is the best use of me (If I’m not working I will not be contributing and thus will become a monster of selfishness).
• Who am I if I’m not an executive coach and leadership consultant? Do I even exist?
• I really should take this project (for the money, for the experience, because I owe it to…..somebody).
• If I don’t check my e-mail, texts, news apps at least 10 times a day, I’ll fall hopelessly behind.

I coach my clients toward new perspectives and behaviors all the time.  And, did I say that old habits die hard? It actually takes constant vigilance to remember the promises we make to ourselves. And to remember to be kind to ourselves when we forget, because transformation is a process and a journey more than it is a target and most of us forget pretty often along the way.

So here are beliefs and attitudes I am cultivating for 2019 (except when I forget; thank goodness I have a coach to remind me):

• If I don’t have to do this project (and I usually don’t), do I really want to take it on?
• The next best uses of my brain and heart are out there; I just need to make some space to find them.
• It’s better to let my legs do some walking instead of my fingers. E-mails and news apps make me anxious about what’s slipping through the cracks and the state of the world, respectively. What’s “falling behind” anyway? The faster I go, the more e-junk there is to slog through. Go take a walk!

And, here are some behaviors I’m calendarizing for the new year:

• Once a month, take off a full week bracketed by two weekends—or three 4-day weekends. During free days, only go on-line for less than hour per day—and use the rest of the time for reflection, adventures, hanging with my husband, family, and friends, and planning what’s next.
• Continue to build business for our Life Reinspired project for the sake of joining really smart people in conversations about how to make their next chapter of life the best chapter ever—and what has heart, meaning, and vibrancy on the other side of now.

That’s enough for 2019, eh?

In a discussion of the history of vacations, host, Robert Siegel of NPR interviewed author Cindy Aron, author of  Working at Play: A History of Vacations in the United States.

Siegel said, “Until the middle of the 19th century, Americans used the word vacation the way the English do, the time when teachers and students vacate the school premises and go off on their own. In those days, a vacation was also a mark of privilege. Over time, the vacation became a middle class institution, as well as a time for physical, mental and spiritual self-improvement, not to mention sheer entertainment.”

Perhaps because a vacation was a respite from ordinary, regular activity vacation came to be associated with health, renewal, and other positive states that supported wellbeing for individuals.  Even the etymology of the word carries a positive valence.  Deriving from the Latin vacatio the word means freedom, exemption, immunity from service, and privilege.

No wonder we all long for a vacation, and especially after a hard won project or career—a LOOOONG vacation!

Pauses for respite and renewal are periods we all need.  Many hard workers look to “retirement” as the long deserved and permanent vacation they earned.  Most folks prepare for this event well before it happens:  they join a golf club, or buy a boat, or add a huge flat screen TV to the family room, and almost everyone sets aside enough financial resources to assure a standard of living.

Unfortunately prolonged leisure is not one of the key factors associated with longevity. Staying active is a key factor.  Dr. Michael Craig Miller, an assistant professor of psychiatry at the Harvard Medical School assures you that the trick is to find a balance of activities that draw you in and stretch you out. He says, “We grow and keep our brains alive by being engaged with things that challenge us.”

A certain amount of stress is good for you.  After years of teaching yoga, meditation, and ways to reduce stress, psychologist, author, and well-known Stanford University teacher Kelly McGonigal has revised her ideas about stress in her book (which I highly recommend).

Note the subtitle:  WHY STRESS IS GOOD FOR YOU and HOW TO GET GOOD AT IT!

Situations that provide the right kind of stress are what you need to construct when you’re thinking about retiring or devising the next wonderful chapter in your life.  Dr. Miller describes what to look for perfectly.  He says, “The sweet spot is the stuff that’s just outside your reach, where you have to work and concentrate.”

So give yourself well earned pauses, but make sure that over longer periods of time, if you want to increase your wellbeing and longevity, you find that sweet spot where challenge is just enough to keep you on your growing edge.

Life Reinspired offers guidance and support for life transitions. Come participate with us in our workshops and programs to support and help guide you on this journey.

Katherine Olivetti is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter of life. She is a practicing Jungian psychoanalyst, family therapist, coach, writer, and editor, training professionals throughout the world.

The Life Reinspired program has changed my life; it can do the same for you!

I spent most of the last 25 years coaching senior executives in a wide variety of companies, industries, and countries on how to maximize their leadership skills, create businesses that are highly productive, and cultivate cultures that attract the best and the brightest. Given my coaching skills and strategic focus, I was sure that planning my own retirement would be a piece of cake.

Darn. I never anticipated the way life would get in the way. There was golf, but my life-long buddies either died or gave up the game because of injuries. And then my life-long passion for swimming in cold water took two hits when my best swimming buddy died and a personal illness sidelined me for two years. Hard to get back in the old Speedo and throw myself into San Francisco Bay. Double darn. And all this happened before I began figuring out how to redeploy my skills in a meaningful way.

Fortunately, the Life ReInspired program stepped into save the day. Most important, it helped me get reacquainted with me—my values, my purpose, and my vision for the good and meaningful life. Second, it helped me to identify the first, second, and third steps to creating the best next phase of my life.

At the program, I met like-minded executives who were facing the same major “what’s next?” questions that I had. They were able to play back to me my strengths and deepest desires for remaining productive while serving others and serving myself with satisfaction and fun. And, they have become a community resource to help me both to stay on my path and enjoy the journey. The Life Reinspired leaders and my new community have become a trusted second point of view when I get discouraged or don’t see my way forward– what a relief!

Caroline Hall, Sabarina Roblin, Katherine Olivetti

So I want to give a shout-out to my wife, Caroline Hall, and her Life Reinspired Co-Founders Sabrina Roblin and Katherine Olivetti, for sitting on this beautiful egg until it finally hatched. They started this program because the kind of conversations we had at the program are the kind of conversations they were yearning to have. All I can say now is “Thanks”—and “More, Please!”

Michael Karr MacNeill is a senior advisor to Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter of life.