The first warning were the signs, which I didn’t see or read.  The second warning was the red line on the floor, which I also didn’t see in my autopilot state, and kept walking.  The next thing that happened was that the alarms went off, lights started flashing and a security agent started yelling at me to stop.  That woke me up and I did.  I froze, startled into full presence and realized what was happening.  Thankfully I woke up before I got tackled.  I took two steps back, the alarms stopped, the lights stopped flashing, and the security guard visibly relaxed.  I apologized and said I was looking to check in for my flight.  He redirected me, I found the check in desk, and headed to my gate.

As I was walking to my gate, I realized this is how life works.  When we’re going down a road that isn’t good or healthy for us, the universe gives us signs.  At first the signs are subtle and easy to miss.  For example, in a bad relationship, it might be a few demeaning comments or our partner getting so drunk they can’t drive, or they black out.  If we don’t listen, as we keep on the path, the signs and signals get louder.  And if we don’t listen to those, alarms start going off and we often get “tackled” by an illness, divorce, or some other intense life experience that forces us look at the truth of what’s happening.  At that point we have to come to grips with the changes we need to make.  If we listen to the more subtle, initial signs, the changes are easier to make.  If we dismiss them until we get tackled, the consequences are always much higher and harder to overcome.

The universe seeks to support and guide us.  If we stay awake, we can see the signs.

So, where in your life are you on autopilot?  What warning signs might you be dismissing or ignoring?  Listening, doing some critical thinking, re-visioning and course correction about the situation now, can save you a lot of suffering further down the road.  Do you need to make internal changes (inner growth, skill development, self-esteem) or external changes (new diet or exercise routine, job, partner, home)?  Even small, consistent changes in your life can make a big, positive, sustainable difference over time that brings you more joy and meaning!

Sabrina Roblin, CPCC is a retired executive, founder of Life Reinspired, and a coach, trainer and speaker who is happily enjoying her best chapter of life.  She now helps others do the same.
To learn more or schedule a complimentary Life Reinspired Strategy Session, contact Sabrina at: info@lifereinspired.com or www.lifereinspired.com.

One of the wonders of being alive today is brain research.  Many ideas that we have intuitively believed to be true are now being documented with hard scientific facts. It is well known that receiving social support is associated with reduced vulnerability.  However a study published in Psychosomatic Medicine in 2016 documents via neuroimaging that GIVING SUPPORT reduces stress related brain activity in three parts of the brain.

We spend lots of time and energy figuring out how to manage and reduce the stress of modern life. To name a few (some better than others):

• Meditation and mindfulness practice
• Exercise
• Recreation
• Alcohol and drugs
• Vacation
• Chilling out
• Television and movies

But this study has implications for all of us that are incredible:

If you want to reduce stress for yourself, then give someone else support!

LEND A HELPING HAND!

This information is especially important for individuals who are ending a big project, a career, or retiring.  With a little more time available, you have the opportunity to do something wonderful for yourself—by doing something wonderful for someone else.

Think about it:  How can you add an act of supporting someone else into your schedule to support someone else?

Come be inspired about your next chapter with us at LIFE REINSPIRED. Contact us for more information or find out more about our programs and upcoming workshops.

Katherine Olivetti is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter of life. She is a practicing Jungian psychoanalyst, family therapist, coach, writer, and editor, training professionals throughout the world.

One of the biggest obstacles to change of any kind is fear.  Any transition, especially one as big as letting go of a long time career for what we traditionally call retirement, can ignite a lot of fear.  When fear gets the best of us at this stage of life it can manifest in many different ways including but not limited to holding on to the career job long after it’s time to let go, not taking any action toward change, confusion, indulging in food and drink, and self isolation.  Courage – a strong heart and thoughtful action – are needed when fear takes hold.  Remember courage is about taking action in spite of the presence of fear.  So here are six tips for breaking through to clarity and action:

Call a friend or colleague – have a good conversation with a trusted significant other, friend or colleague where you name your fear and get it out in the open which will reduce it’s grip on you.

Ask for help – this is a leadership skill that many of us forget or are too embarrassed to use.  Our school and work cultures have trained us to think we have to know everything when in reality we don’t.  Reach out to a professional for help.

Affirmations – craft one or more affirmations that work for you and post them where you can see and say them every day.  An example is: “Every day I am taking action to manifest a fulfilling next chapter in my life”.

Take an action – Taking even one action that leads you forward can be the spear head that breaks open the momentum for more.  For example: take a colleague to lunch, call the non-profit you’ve been interested in and ask about their volunteer program, do some online research on an idea you have.

Get in Motion – Go for a walk, get to the gym, spend a morning at the beach, or ride your bike.  Physical activity fires endorphins in the body which create positivity, which can open new perspectives and ideas, and make us feel better and more motivated overall.

Create a Support Structure – The Survivor shows on TV may make good entertainment but they are counter to how people survive in the real world.  Behind any successful person is a support team/structure that helped them to be who they are.  No one has done it alone.  Who is part of your support – family, friends, colleagues, professionals?  Reach out to them and get them actively involved in supporting your transition.

So choose one of the suggested tips above or move on one of your own.  It will start forward movement, loosen fear’s grip and you’ll feel better overall.  If you are looking for a support structure to make the move to your next chapter in life, here at Life Reinspired we specialize in guiding you through the planning process and providing a cohort of like-minded individuals for the journey.

Come turn up the heat with us at LIFE REINSPIRED. Contact us for more information or find out more about our programs and upcoming workshops.

Sabrina Roblin is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter in life. Sabrina is an experienced executive, mentor, trainer, and coach. She has worked for organizations that include Wells Fargo Bank, Broderbund Software, and The Coaches Training Institute. And she is a singer/songwriter. Her website.

When we hit transition points in life, especially big ones like retiring from a career,  it’s easy to get overwhelmed and stuck, trying to figure out what’s next. A number of different things can keep us from moving forward – we’re at a loss as to what is the next step, we have too many choices, we’re afraid, we keep spinning in the planning mode, or we’re afraid of losing one or more significant relationships as a result of following a new course.  So we find ourselves in “the waiting place” as described in Dr. Seuss’s famous book, Oh The Places You’ll Go!.  (Which is an inspiring read for adults and children alike). Where everyone is “just waiting for… a Better Break, or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.  Everyone is just waiting.”

When you find yourself stuck in the waiting place, don’t judge yourself, acknowledge it, and Just Begin.

Beginning can look different for each of us.  For me, after I left my career I spent about 6 months just integrating the change, then a couple of months waiting and wondering what to do, until I decided to Just Begin.  Reading the local paper one morning, I saw that a guitar circle was happening at the library.  Music, singing and songwriting had always been a passion of mine, so I decided to attend, with no idea where it might lead.  It was just something to get me moving and out of the house, doing something I enjoyed.  At the end of the guitar circle, the leader of it asked me if I would join his local band. So again, I said yes not knowing where it might lead.  And then a few months later, I started working on my first CD which I released earlier this year and a long time dream manifested….you get the idea.

What is your way to Just Begin?  Whether it’s throwing a dinner party, volunteering, reaching out to a colleague with that idea you’ve always wanted to pursue, or a travel adventure.  Just Begin.  Take the first step and….

Oh the Places You’ll Go!
“Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!”

Come turn up the heat with us at LIFE REINSPIRED. Contact us for more information or find out more about our programs and upcoming workshops.

Sabrina Roblin is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter in life. Sabrina is an experienced executive, mentor, trainer, and coach. She has worked for organizations that include Wells Fargo Bank, Broderbund Software, and The Coaches Training Institute. And she is a singer/songwriter. Her website.

Humans are habitual creatures organized by the familiar. It’s amazing how many things we do with out thinking. I hit the first step on the stairs with my right foot. I brush my teeth top left down. I button my shirts bottom up. I stir my coffee right handed and clockwise. Do these small things matter? You bet they do. I do everything “the right way.”

Try this:

Clasp your hands in the way that is most familiar to you. Then shift the fingers. What do you feel? Most likely you will experience this slight shift as feeling “wrong.”

The point is that our brains get wired to register the familiar as “right” and the unfamiliar as “wrong.” Real growth can occur when we make room for new experiences and loosen the hold that the familiar has on us.

If you are interested in opening your life to new possibilities you can loosen the hold that the familiar has on you. In daily, simple tasks, you can opt for doing things in an unfamiliar way. Here are some suggestions:

• Do any routine task with your non-dominant hand.
• Reverse processes, like buttoning and unbuttoning a shirt, putting on socks, saying grace after the meal.
• Take a new route when driving to a familiar destination.
• Eat a food you never ate before.
• Change your usual seat at dinner.
• Go to an unfamiliar neighborhood and take a walk.
• Do something you’ve never done before—iron a dish towel, saw a piece of wood, sew on a button, plant a flower, dance by yourself in the kitchen before dinner, pay for the person standing behind you in Starbucks

The possibilities are endless. Keep thinking of the small in-your-life things you can do differently and give them a try. The loosening of the familiar makes space for new experience and learning.

You will recognize these lines:

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost
“The Road Not Taken”

Come take the less traveled road with us at LIFE REINSPIRED. Contact us for more information or find out more about our programs and upcoming retreats.

Katherin Olivetti is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter of life. She is a practicing Jungian psychoanalyst, family therapist, coach, writer, and editor, training professionals throughout the world.

At the end of a big project—it’s not actually depression.

At the point of retirement, or even the successful completion of a major chunk of life—finishing a book, winning a big case, seeing your partner through a major ordeal—any endeavor that you threw yourself into whole heartedly, you may describe what you feel as “depressed” or “bored” or “empty.” Your partner or another person close to you may have all kinds of advice for what to do to return to your usual state—full of vitality, engaged with what you’re doing, busy, passionate, and lighthearted.  And while you can go through the motions, something inside of you isn’t quite as connected to your activities as you’d like to be.

This is because the flow of your energy has turned inward.  Instead of pouring out into a project, a job, a relationship, a cause, or whatever rocked you a while back, your energy has gone into hibernation.

Why do I say hibernation?

It’s not unlike what the bear goes through when she enters the cave for the winter.  Not only does she go to sleep, most often she’s pregnant.  Her metabolism slows down as if she’s in a state of suspended life.  All of this is going on because in the dark, away from her favorite haunts, the beehive and the forest lush with juicy berries, she’s waiting for spring.  Then she will emerge from her cave with her newborn cub.  New life is brought forth from this suspended, dark, interior state.

Your psychic energy turns inward to be renewed. 

The symptoms of this:

• The things you enjoy don’t give you the same bump.
• New activities don’t draw your attention.
• You feel sort of lonely, bored, or empty even though things are fine.
• Nothing seems to capture your interest.
• Your concentration is a little off.
• You’re a little irritable for no reason.
• The people around you aren’t that happy with you.
• They want the “old” you back again.
• They offer lots of suggestions about what you should do.

The psyche cuts you off from the outer world, takes away the satisfaction out there so you can renew. The truth is, you’ve entered a period of introversion.  Especially if you are an outgoing, extroverted, or socially active person, this can be a real challenge because you will feel less like yourself than a naturally introverted person does.

Here’s what to do:

1. Don’t lose hope.
2. Don’t call yourself depressed.
3. Do give yourself plenty of free space to noodle around.
4. Do things that are comfortable.
5. Don’t be afraid to sleep more, take solo walks, and write down what you feel.
6. Write down your dreams.
7. Start a meditation practice, even if it’s only 5 minutes a day.
8. Do something you liked doing as a child—don’t be afraid to buy crayons or paints or a new bike.

Like the bear, new life is gestating deep down in the cave of your unconscious.  You WILL renew and come back to life with vitality and new energy.  It will come back faster if you don’t rush or force it.

Last year when it withered, I was going to throw out this helleborus plant, but instead I stuck it in the ground.  It has come back more vivid and more beautiful than before.  Be patient.  This can happen to you.

Contact us at LIFE REINSPIRED because we have all sorts of strategies for renewal. Find out more about our programs and upcoming retreats.

Katherine Olivetti is Co-Founder of Life Reinspired, a reset lab for successful Baby Boomers contemplating a meaningful next chapter of life. She is a practicing Jungian psychoanalyst, family therapist, coach, writer, and editor, training professionals throughout the world.

Where Does My Sense of Self Reside?

The answer to this question is most often:  inside me.

Recently, I have begun to wonder about this.  I know who I am, or at least I think I do.  But what I’ve begun to ponder is that other people know who I am also and they reflect that back to me.  A baby’s first way of understanding himself or herself is by what the primary caretakers reflects back—that’s where the sense of self begins.  And throughout life, we continue to need to have who we are reflected back to us. This notion that the sense of self may not be exclusively held by one’s own person makes sense.  We find little bits of ourselves held by those around us.

The idea that my sense of self is spread out in a community is of particular relevance when you are leaving a job. Every interaction you have with another person carries an explicit message and also a meta-message. The meta-message colors how the message feels and what feedback you’re getting about yourself. For example, the request, “Could you get that file for me?” could be said in many different tones, the meta-message. In a satisfying work environment, the meta-messages would communicate : You are of value; I like you: Glad to see you; Good job.

When you leave a job, on that last day of work, you are suddenly cut off from all these others who hold and reflect your sense of self. All those contacts, even when you are tasking, that have positive meta-messages—gone! This loss of contact is one of the most under-anticipated consequences of retirement, and one of the factors that contributes to depression. No wonder after retirement depression increase by 40% according to the Institute of Economic Affairs.

Learn about how your sense of self lives in your friends, family, and colleagues.

Try this:  It’s hard to go around to the people around you and ask them to put their meta-messages into specific words.  But you could reach out to 5 people you know and ask them to give you 3 words they would use to describe you.  From their words you will be able to intuit what kind of meta-messages you get from them—even when you ask, “Hey, did that report come in yet?”

LIFE REINSPIRED is a new program that aims at addressing this loss, one of the hazards in the transition from a working life to the next chapter of life.  The program creates a structure and environment to help successful individuals navigate this transition and avoid the pitfalls that are the source of depression and compromised health (by the way, there’s also a 40% increase in heart attacks and strokes after retirement.)  One of the key components of the program is developing a new peer group that will hold that sense of self as you move into the next chapter.  At LIFE REINSPIRED we believe there’s a better way.

Contact Us for more information or find out more about our programs and upcoming retreats.